Empathy can be exhausting. It's a lot to keep up with, everyone else all the time. It can even induce a kind of selfless mania, where the center no longer holds. I do find it more completing if I begin from a place of curiosity and I am willing to let go of hard-and-fast rules, e.g., philosophy, doctrine. If I don't require that people conform, it is easier to meet them where they are. If I really believe my life, workplace, etc., are better with different people around me, and I take steps to make that so, I approach true empathy that much more.
I am, therefore, uncertain of the lizard metaphor for me. I find empathy a process of translation, attempting to understand someone's language in my own. That's not easier, but it takes more than an understanding of scale to operate. The starting point is understanding that the language someone uses is not the language I choose for them, nor is mine the language they might choose for me. Agency is important here, too.
Good thoughts for me. Thanks. I loved The Empathy Exams, also.
Completely agree, Tom. Thank you for this perspective— I love the idea of thinking about empathy as language. We'll never be native speakers, but that doesn't mean we can't learn. Gorgeous song choice as well— Tom Waits is always so good. Thank you for sharing and reading along!
Empathy can be exhausting. It's a lot to keep up with, everyone else all the time. It can even induce a kind of selfless mania, where the center no longer holds. I do find it more completing if I begin from a place of curiosity and I am willing to let go of hard-and-fast rules, e.g., philosophy, doctrine. If I don't require that people conform, it is easier to meet them where they are. If I really believe my life, workplace, etc., are better with different people around me, and I take steps to make that so, I approach true empathy that much more.
I am, therefore, uncertain of the lizard metaphor for me. I find empathy a process of translation, attempting to understand someone's language in my own. That's not easier, but it takes more than an understanding of scale to operate. The starting point is understanding that the language someone uses is not the language I choose for them, nor is mine the language they might choose for me. Agency is important here, too.
Good thoughts for me. Thanks. I loved The Empathy Exams, also.
Ok, then, from another time, a sad song-turned-moment of meaning: https://open.spotify.com/track/7qbLE7ssJcnWD6EO7My847?si=a3b7ef03729e43cb
Tom
Completely agree, Tom. Thank you for this perspective— I love the idea of thinking about empathy as language. We'll never be native speakers, but that doesn't mean we can't learn. Gorgeous song choice as well— Tom Waits is always so good. Thank you for sharing and reading along!